The Battle of Evermask

White Lotus Chelsea Forever, and why do I always try to make Led Zeppelin puns

First: The White Lotus finale!!! What was that? I love that Belinda, up until now the only moral compass in the White Lotus universe, became just as corrupt and soulless as any rich person when she got her chance. It made perfect sense that she gave Pornchai the same talk Tonya had given her in season one. Laurie’s monologue was of course masterful because Carrie Coon is always masterful, but I agree with this Rolling Stone writer that it felt like an utter u-turn in her character development, a shoe-horned-in end to an arc that felt like it was heading towards a Shoshanna in Girls revelation. But maybe I just wanted cunty-bob and smug actress to get theirs because I take Laurie’s awkward nails personally as a fellow odd-one-out. I love Mike White - Chuck & Buck forever - but I don’t always sense there is a rich amount of character development. Is that the point? It is oddly effective for parodic rich people on vacation. But when the shoot-out occurred, and Rick said you killed my father! I don’t think many viewers hadn’t already guessed that Jim was his father. It felt like a Star Wars moment (though tbh I have never paid attention all the way through Star Wars to know for sure). That moment felt like the crescendo of a really tight first draft. I didn’t know enough about Rick to truly feel much about his choice in that moment other than some devastation for Chelsea, a far more developed character and everyone’s baby angel. Pour one out for all the codependent, care-taking women who love to fix up traumatized mascs who can barely say one sweet thing to them. You could just read Pema Chodren instead, I wanted to yell at the screen.

But I’ve been meaning to write a part two to my last post - it was all about my quest for fun without mentioning a crucial detail. I left it out because I’m tired of thinking about it, and of other people’s opinions. But my friend and I were both the only masked people at the line-dancing class. She and her girlfriend are my only friends in town who still mask consistently. The context of my not knowing how to have fun anymore is influenced by the fact that I haven’t stopped masking to protect myself from covid. I avoid most indoor parties and still mask at events that do make the cut. I mask everywhere that immunocompromised people have to go - grocery stores, pharmacies, hospitals - because I feel it is my civic duty. And I mask other places because I really enjoy not having been sick since 2019, especially like avoiding a vascular illness that disables a third of people who contract it. And it shrinks your brain. My brain already feels like a shrivelled up raisin on the best days. I work for myself! I can’t be sick.

It can feel like a social barrier. Mostly I don’t mind the stares because I’ve got twenty years of being a fat dyke behind me, so I’m used to a fair amount of on-sight curiousity or disdain. In 2024 I started to take more risks, but I’m basically still living how most of us did in 2022 - I sometimes eat in restaurants when it’s not too crowded, I work in cafes a lot while slipping my mask off to sip my drink, I swim in the public pool three times a week, masking in the dressing room. I travel masked on planes and trains. I don’t always ask people to test before sharing air anymore. But my version of having “loosened up” is still very risk-averse to most people.

I used to feel that it was useful to talk about it, but now I’m tired. I’m even tired of the people I agree with who are still evangelical about it online.